Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
