Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
