My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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