checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
