This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky