why didn't you poke me back
My friends, they love my intelligence
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country