I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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