Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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