dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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