we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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