I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
