I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
