I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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