what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
