I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
