The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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