I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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