Betty ford says i'm here all night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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