Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
