dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
