the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize