You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
