Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize