Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
