i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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