Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize