That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize