on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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