filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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