We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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