I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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