Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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