I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize