He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
