i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I want a musical about memes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
