hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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