i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
