I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
