I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
