woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Are we still banned from the library?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
