i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
