I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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