i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
