what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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