Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Send help, water and tortillas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
