What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
