My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
