plz talk dirty to me
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
