Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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