help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
