you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't turn off my feet"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
