so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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