im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
