is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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