Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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