Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
