My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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