You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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