Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
